On Composing

· Perception, Pessimism of Reality

When I write music I cannot figure out whether it is part of my soul that I am leaving behind or if I am creating new life, giving breath to something that never was. Either way, there is something now apart from me that will never be apart of me. In every process and step it can speak in a way that I cannot. It can communicate to others in a way I cannot and say something that I could never say. It transcends me and yet is unable to step into a realm I may one day be able to. It is here forever (even if destroyed or erased, it cannot come with me) and has in and of itself a purpose, plan, and an essence. This piece, either of me or from me, can never become one with me (or you, or they, or anyone). It may plant thoughts, visions, and emotion that were never conscious in it’s maker. It will never replace me, but may give illustration or false representation of my character. Yes, deceptive it can be, but never apart of me. It is natural in it’s entirety but sparks eternal fuses in the lives of those that may hear it. It never lay dormant, it is always awoken and speaking. It may have been chosen, or it may choose itself. It will never die and it will never truly live, but it can be the cause (the reason) for new life (or new parts, whatever these songs may be). I am free from it, yet not it from me. Whatever this music may be, I now damn it for all eternity. Sad little song, no matter the melody.

Any Thoughts?...

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